There are two parts to the Parental Laws Of Communication that we are focused on right now as parents. The first law says that as boys learn to communicate, the first things they will talk about will be what they think about most. The second law states that no matter how busy you think you are, your kids will always come first.
Law One Example: Being five, Benjamin is at the stage where he is obsessed with poop. We don’t know why, although his Nana insists that he comes by it naturally. No matter, it makes conversation around the supper table noteworthy, to say the least:
Me: “Honey, can you pass me the hotdogs?”
Benjamin: “Yeah honey. Please pass the poop dogs! Ha ha ha!”
Me: “Ben, that’s not…”
Ben: “No. Please poop the hot dogs! Hee Hee Hee!”
Duncan: “Eww (hee hee!) Ben!”
Emma: “Ben, don’t talk like that when there are ladies present.”
Benjamin: “Sorry. I won’t talk like that when there are ladies pooping. Ha ha ha ha ha!”
Duncan: “Hee hee hee!”
So obviously, Part One still needs a little work.
Law Two Example: It is any weekday morning. As the clock ticks closer to “out the door time”, the tension mounts: pants ironed, breakfast eaten, kids hoisted out of bed, lunches made. I am finally put together and have had my shirt bloused by my wife. I look at my watch once more, grab my lunch bag and keys and stop. I take a deep breath and brace myself, knowing what I must do.
Me: “I’m gonna go now.”
Tick tock tick tock…
Emma: “DADDY! Wait! I have to be the first to kiss you goodbye!”
Duncan: “I don’t think so!”
Ben: “Oh no you don’t!”
The kids all pile onto me, throwing my lunch to the floor and shoving my butt against the door knob.
Tick tock tick tock.
Emma: “First one to kiss Daddy goodbye!”
Duncan: “First one to kiss AND HUG Daddy goodbye!”
Benjamin: “Daddy?”
Me: “Yes?”
Ben: “Umm. Daddy?”
Tick tock tick tock
Me: “Yes?”
Ben: “Umm. You know dat fing on dirtbikes?”
Me: (Stepping on my apple.) “No. What thing? Can we talk about this tonight?”
Ben: “Umm. Dat fing on dirtbikes over top of the front wheel.”
Me: “No. I know what you mean but I don’t know its name. Okay, I’m seriously going now…”
Ben: “Cuz when me and Cal grow up, ummm…we’re going to do tricks.”
Tick tock
Me: “Cool!”
TICK TOCK
Ben: “You know the tricks on the dirt bike? We’re gunna do them and my favourite will be sitting on dat fing when Cal is driving the dirtbike.”
Me: “Aha! That will be cool!
TICK”
Ben: “I love you Daddy!”
My Wife: “Haven’t you left yet?”
Me: “Just communicating with my kids, hon. If I don’t make time for it, they will!”