Christmas Traditions!

by Mark Thrice 11. December 2010 20:27

My buddy Tim and I got into a heated discussion about Santa Claus.

Tim: “My kids have grown up without believing in Santa and they LOVE Christmas!”

Me: “Mine grew up believing in Santa and they love Christmas, too!”

Tim: “Sure, but now they think you’re a liar.”

Me: “I lie to my kids all the time. It’s good for them.”

Tim: “I think you’re somehow proving my point…”

Christmas, to me, is a magical time. And magic means deception…and tradition. In fact, I stand for a magical tradition of deception at Christmas. It makes for the best memories! And the best stories!

When my nephew was seven years old, he asked me how Santa’s nine reindeer were able to fly as they pulled Santa’s sleigh full of toys. (Brandon was always very bright and I had my work cut out for me.)

Brandon: “Honestly, Uncle Mark, how can reindeer fly?”

Me: “That is a great question, my friend. Usually reindeer CAN’T fly, can they?”

Brandon: “No.”

Me: “But we know that Santa is pretty tricky, right?”

Brandon: “I guess so. He fits down our chimney.”

Me: “He also puts his reindeer on a very special diet the week before Christmas.”

Brandon: “He does? What does he feed them?”

Me: “Magic beans.”

Brandon: “Magic beans?”

Me: “Sure. Remember the beans that Jack threw out his window and they grew into a giant beanstalk?”

Brandon: “That was TRUE?”

Me: “Sure. If he had EATEN those beans, he would have been able to fly!”

Brandon: “How?”

Me: “What happens to your dad when he eats beans?”

Brandon: “He gets the toots.”

Me: “Imagine what kind of toots you would get if you ate MAGIC beans!”

Brandon: “Wow! You’d probably be able to fly right up into the sky!”

Not only was that a great story, he won third prize in a Christmas Stories newspaper competition. (Mostly because he entered it under the “True Stories” category.)

A few years before that I had a bunch of fun with his dad as he was dating my sister. It was Christmas time and we were talking about Christmas traditions.

Me: “Do you guys have a Christmas Turnip?”

Ralph: “Uh, for what?”

Me: “Well, for Christmas, of course.”

Ralph: “No. What do you do with it?”

Me: “You see how this turnip is covered in wax? Every Christmas Eve, we gather around the table, light the turnip and tell each other what we liked about the past year.”

Ralph: “Wow! That sounds really cool.”

Me: “Sure it is. You should ask my folks if you can light the turnip this year.”

Ralph: “You think they would let me?”

Me: “They might be surprised that you asked, but they would definitely let you.”

Like I said, the magical tradition of deception at Christmas makes for the best memories and the best stories!

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